Long time no see, eh?
While I’ve been busy fighting corruption in the Great State of Ohio I’ve neglected to write absolutely anything on here. I have no shame, I have a busy life and this newsletter is my very last priority.
With that being said, check out my (no longer recent) work! I wrote for my friend DJ’s newsletter, The Rooster, here about State Rep. Bernadine Kennedy Kent.
This was a really fun story which elicited a 3-page email from her office attacking it. Something something you know you did a good job if you pissed someone off that much.
I also donated my pay from writing that to the campaign of Mark Fogel. I’ve written about his race here before, we need to boost this hard-working guy and also kick sworn enemy of the newsletter Niraj Antani to the curb.
Donate by clicking the button below to be like me and help put Niraj’s campaign in a pinewood box:
Also, if you read the above story on Bernadine Kennedy Kent there’s a cool update that since my interview with her she’s become a full-on Trump endorsee and supporter. I mean it’s not really a cool update but at least it clarifies her position or whatever.
If you’ve made it this far it’s time for the real fun, my official 2020 sample ballot.
This is only for the citizens of Franklin County, Ohio because I really do not care where anyone else lives. Franklin County is the best county in the best state and I will not hear anything on the contrary.
Going to give a brief rundown here of the races I care about, if you live somewhere else just vote D bro.
President:
lmao idk this was a tough one
Joe Biden (D)
US House OH-12:
Vote for the Trump-enabling used car salesman who doesn’t care about Franklin County voters or the liberal mom. Easy choice.
Alaina Shearer (D)
US House OH-15:
Steve Stivers sucks. Also, when I went to go early vote Joel Newby complimented me on my sweatshirt (Seattle Dragons XFL sweatshirt) and we talked for a bit. Great dude.
Joel Newby (D)
Ohio House of Representatives 21st District:
I spent 3 years serving the citizens of the 21st District as the Constituent Aide for former Rep. Mike Duffey. I know this district and its people well, and I know how great Dr. Liston has been and will continue to be for them. Her “competitor” Mehek Cooke is a loon who blocked me on Twitter and is filing false police reports against Dr. Liston’s husband to score political points. She also has this absurdly funny fake tweet that I want to share.
Yes that totally 100% happened, thank you Mehek!!!
Dr. Beth Liston (D)
Ohio State Senate 16th District:
Once upon a time I knew Stephanie Kunze well and I respected her. That changed when she has continued to be a member of the Republican party and stand idly by while our country is being destroyed. Time for a change.
Crystal Lett (D)
Franklin County Prosecutor:
Why is a Republican representing our great county in any county-wide position? Especially when he’s a terrible prosecutor who won’t do anything to help people in our community. Yeah lets fix that real quick.
Gary Tyack (D)
Ohio Supreme Court
One of the only ways we can stop this state from getting gerrymandered again is if we flip the state supreme court, and we have a real shot at it. We need both these seats badly and the race is non-partisan, we pulled off a shock upset in 2018 here so lets do it again.
John P. O’Donnell
Jennifer Brunner
Issue 1:
Yeah I’ve read a few articles on this and can’t for the life of me understand it, but the main opposition to it is coal companies which is enough for me to support it.
Vote Yes
Issue 2:
Hellllll yes we need a civilian police review board. I doubt it will do much but it’s at least a step in the right direction.
Vote Yes
Everything else:
Vote blue.
This isn’t true in absolutely every race everywhere (see Nebraska Senate), but for every race at least here we are voting blue this year, too much is at stake or whatever that cheesy saying is.
Obviously figure out how to vote and do it, it’s pretty important and also not that difficult. My ass stood outside on a Tuesday morning to early vote in person and boy did it feel good. The news even interviewed me for some reason, check it out here.
Doesn’t this right here look like a guy who’s mid-saving American democracy (also please note the Seattle Dragons XFL sweatshirt). Could also be a guy who is really hungry for some Papa Johns.
If you’re voting on election day in the great city of Columbus, and your assigned precinct happens to be the Greek Orthodox Cathedral downtown please, please, bring the poll-workers: coffee, bagels, donuts, and assorted baked goods if voting in the morning. If voting in the afternoon please bring pizza (cheese only), pasta (vegetarian only), sushi (salmon or tuna preferred), or an assortment of baked goods.
I’m not sure if that’s even legal but of course I’m a proud poll-worker and my ass will be there from 6:30am-7:30pm helping you folks vote.
Follow the easy directions in here of who you should support, lets win this, then lets get back to fighting for real progressive change in this country come January. I don’t know about you all but I’m not letting up till every person in this country has free healthcare. No, not affordable healthcare, but free healthcare.
Lets do this.